Matrimonial Moments!
by Henrietta-thepseudonym
Summary: (Rated 'T' for traumatisingness) Ever wondered what certain HP characters' weddings would be like? Well, wonder no more! This fic tells of Remus and Sirius' wedding; and coming soon: Ron and Hermione's! Warning: contains slash!


**Matrimonial Moments**

by Moi (HenriettaBlack)

**Chapter 1: Puppy Love**

_Dur dur dur dur, dur dur dur dur!_ The 'Wedding March' began to play as the guests stood up and turned towards the back of the Great Hall. The day of Sirius Black and Remus Lupin's wedding had finally arrived; emotions were running high and you could cut the excitement in the air with a knife.

"Do I look OK?" Sirius asked worriedly, adjusting his veil.

"For the twentieth time, you look bloody gorgeous!" Harry cried; reassuring Sirius was a big job, but someone had to do it. That was not Harry's only job, he had the honour of giving Sirius away, as it happened.

They began to descend down the aisle, arm-in-arm, followed by the bridesmaids,-Ginny, Hermione and Tonks (who had her hair in long, blond ringlets for the special occasion)-who were all wearing frilly dresses, in the most lurid shade of peach, which clashed horribly with Ginny's hair. Sirius had chosen something slightly more tasteful for his own dress (yes, dress), a white (yes, white), sleeveless, satin wedding gown. And on his feet he wore the highest, white stilettos known to man-kind. He did in fact look 'bloody gorgeous'.

As they carried on down the aisle, they smiled at the guests, who smiled back. When they finally got to the front of the Great Hall, Sirius turned to Remus, who had been waiting for him, with Moody, the Best-man. He too looked 'bloody gorgeous', in midnight blue dress-robes, made of crushed velvet. They smiled at each other as Dumbledore, who was doing the service, began speaking-

"We are gathered here today to witness the joining of Sirius and Remus in holy matrimony. If anyone here present knows any reason why these two should not, would they please speak now or forever hold their peace,". No one really expected anyone to 'speak now or forever hold their peace', but as it happened someone did.

The doors of the Great Hall crashed open, and there to everyone's suprise stood Professor Severus Snape. There was a collective intake of breath and many eyebrows were raised as Snape began to speak-

"I have something to say! Black can't marry Lupin, because he's already married to me!", there was another collective intake of breath and even more eyebrows raised, not to mention Molly Weasley fainting.

Remus turned to Sirius, "Is this true?".

Sirius whose mouth was hanging wide open, shuck his head, "How can you ask me that? I'd never marry _Snivellus!_", he threw his hands in the air to enphasize his point. "I'd rather eat hippogriff manure!".

"I think we all need to calm down and get to the bottom of this revelation, don't you?", Dumbledore, ever the voice of reason, gestured to Snape. "Severus, have you recently been hit on the head?".

Snape thought for a moment before answering, "I have, as it happens. I was in my office, when I looked up and then-then it all went dark. The next thing I knew, I was laying on the floor with a cauldron on my head,". There was the sound of muffled sniggering coming from the direction of the Weasley twins.

"That withstanding, I believe we should carry on with the service," a smile played across the Headmaster's lips. He wasn't the only one to find the incident amusing, the Great Hall was now awash with the sould of mirth; even Sirius managed a weak grin. "Do you, Remus.J.Lupin, take Sirius Black to be your lawfully wedded...," and so he continued, until, "...I now pronounce you Man and...um...Husband. You may kiss th-each other,". And so they did, in a completely unPG way.

As Sirius and Remus left the castle, they we caught in a shower of confetti. Half an hour later, they returned to the Great Hall, after having their Wedding photos taken in the Hogwarts grounds; it was now time for the reception.

The furniture in the Great Hall had changed, in the last thirty minutes, from five rows of seating, with an aisle running down the centre, facing the front of the hall; to five individual, circular tables each seating ten, in a semi-circle around a long wooden table, set for a futher ten. There was also a dance floor.

The circular tables were already filled with guests, as Sirius and Remus sat down in the centre of the long wooden table; they were joined by Harry, Moody, Dumbledore, the Bridesmaids and the ushers, Ron and Hagrid.

After a four course meal, came the speeches; Harry as the...um...equivilant of the the father of the Bride, was first-

"Well, first of all, I'd just like to thank everyone for coming and..." he carried on for the next couple of minutes. "...so, can everyone raise their glasses. To Sirius and Remus,".

"To Sirius and Remus," everyone echoedfollowed by the sound on clinking glass.

Harry's speech was then followed by a drunken delivery from Moody, and then a sparklingly witty address from Dumbledore, after one of the grooms, Remus himself, made a short speech. Finally it was time for the dancing to start.

Sirius and Remus walked out onto the dance floor to the sound of applause, the band struck up the first few notes of a song, and the newly married couple began to waltz. They were soon joined by their guests, whose dancing techniques were somewhat diverse.

Ron and Hermione were jiving away, with eyes only for each other; Ginny was dancing round her handbag; Molly and Arthur Weasley were doing a rather boisterous tango; Snape, who had invited himself to the reception, was making a specticle of himself by completely letting go, by breakdancing and singing as loud as he could-

"Burn baby, baby! Burn baby, burn! Burn baby, burn! DISCO INFERNO!" well, that's concussion for you.

By now Sirius and Remus, had given up with the waltzing, and resigned themselves to gyrating in the most obscene manner, that I just can't describe at this time of day.

Then there were those who were not dancing, for example Harry, Mundungus and Hagrid were getting drunk in the corner; while Moody was coming onto Tonks in a way only drunken old men can; Tonks, however did not need the help of Kingsley Shacklebolt to sort Moody out good and proper, although he did insist.

The dancers danced into the night, while the drunkards drunk into the night-a good time was had by all.


End file.
